upgraded spouses | The Scoop on Poop

Welcome one and all to THE EVENT of the year.

That’s right. Today is your one and only opportunity to UPGRADE YOUR SPOUSE to a better model.

Thanks to a new super secret compound, Dramatics Incorporated is pleased to offer each and every one of you an upgrade in your spouse.

Do you find yourself exhausted at the end of the day, your hair sticking out all around you, your energy fried and your nerves frazzled because you’ve:

cooked
cleaned
took the trash out
mowed the lawn
baked
put a dent in the never ending laundry
wrote a best selling novel
written, produced, directed and starred in a movie
fixed the broken garbage disposal, doorbell, and screen window
replaced the chain on the kids bicycle
cooked and cleaned the children
put the children to bed
clean some more

And all while your spouse:

worked outside the home (the lucky bastard)
got stuck in non-existent traffic, conveniently late for dinner
plants his heiney on the couch to watch currently recording NCIS
rolls his eyes at you when you ask him to help
stuffs his empty soiled bag from a fast food restaurant BEHIND the overflowing trash can
gives goodnight kisses all around
lays on the bed watching tv for 3 hours

Sound familiar? Then you are IN LUCK!!!!

For the next 24 HOURS you can trade your mate in no questions asked and he will be reprogrammed and updated to the new modernized version.

We promise that your spouse will be a new man when we are finished with him.

If he does not:

cook
clean
do his own laundry
take out the trash
maintain the yard
fix things around the house
flush the toilet
put the seat down
clean behind himself (especially when shaving)
pick up his underwear from the bathroom floor
participate in the rearing of his children
wash dishes (including the pots and pans)
help you clean after they go to bed

(Massages and foot rubs are a separate upgrade also available)

We are offering you a money back guarantee. If he does not perform to your satisfaction, you can trade him in and we will replace him for FREE with a newer model.

What are you waiting for?

Our operators are standing by RIGHT NOW to take your order. You don’t want to miss this exciting once in a lifetime, available only in 2012, opportunity.