Today’s JBE prompt is to write a letter to your 16 year old self, and while there are some really inspiring letters out there, when I went to write mine, I discovered I didn’t really have much to say to my 16 year old self. My life was far from perfect, but even now, when I look back, it was a better year in my life than ones that came before and ones that would come after. Instead, I’m going to share my very special Mother’s day with you.
For me, Mother’s Day is often just another day. I might get a card from GC, but he never takes the kids to pick out cards for me. Jellybean spends so much time being mad at me that she never gives me anything she makes—it always goes to a beloved teacher or grandma or some other female adult figure in her life. Scooby doesn’t attend daycare or school (except Speech twice a week, but they didn’t do anything mom related).
No, for me, it’s just another day where I feel invisible, doing what I always do, every other day of the year, without thanks.
This year was different.
It was different for multiple reasons. This was my first mother’s day that my stepsons were here for. The oldest rose early and cleaned the upstairs of the house for me, offered to take on the responsibility of his little brother during brunch so I could eat my food hot for a change, and even created a card for me.
This of course inspired Jellybean to make me one, so I got 2 handmade cards this year.
Was that a collective “Awww!!” I heard?
Yeah. This is me, smiling.
I spent my morning in the church nursery, loving on the babies there, and helping them create something special for their own mommies. We spent the day together as a family. I was able to steal a few quiet moments with GC, strolling hand in hand, as our tribe danced around us. There were the comments made at the end of the day by my oldest stepson that really had a huge impacted on me.
But the biggest reason this year’s Mother’s Day was better than all 11 previous?
In the course of the past year, I have learned that I’m not a perfect mother, but I am a good one. I have learned just how many mountains can be moved just by the sheer force of a mother’s love. I have learned that it is because of my mothering, because of my love, that my children, especially Jellybean, will have the chance for a better future. I have learned by taking in my stepsons, and dealing with all their chaos, that I am enough mom. I don’t need handmade cards, special brunches, breakfast in bed, or outings with my family to remind me of this. I am reminded every moment of every day that my children awake. I am reminded every moment of every day that I am needed. I am reminded every time I step foot out the door alone and return to find the house in a state of chaos that I am, indeed needed, and I’m not so invisible after all.
I am indeed enough mom.