Mother’s Intuition

Two weeks ago I wrote a post about When Parenting Sucks and our parenting decision to put Jellybean in a mental health facility for a few days to have her evaluated. What you don’t know is that she was released that Friday, with the same dx and on the same meds (with the same dosages), as she was when she went in. What she came away with, however, was a greater appreciation for what she has, parents who care, and the priceless knowledge that neither there nor juvenile detention is the festival she thought it was (She’s never been to juvie, but her behavior and impulses to steal were leading her there).

Things have been 98% times better at home, especially since we let her start with a clean slate. This means I have my housework back because she “doesn’t do chores.” This means I have to listen to the sibling rivalry all day for the rest of the week since it’s Spring Break. This also means that she is much more pleasant at home, more respectful. I hope this is lasts.

Last Monday she returned to school and discovered that someone in our neighborhood found out where she’d spent her previous week. Tuesday, she made the very bad decision to blow it up and glamorize her situation by telling her friends that she did intend to kill herself and the many different ways she would do it. This earned her a trip to the counseling office, and after an in-school assessment, they determined that she was not safe, and required an outside assessment before she could return to school.

Back to the mental health facility she went. She cried when I left, and I bawled most of the way home, and most of the night. I didn’t feel like she needed to be there. Despite what she said, she is not suicidal, and she was wrong to glamorize it like that, but she didn’t deserve to be locked away like that only a few days after being released.

Wednesday morning I awoke to an email from my mom. It contained powerful information regarding anti-psychotic drugs used to treat disorders they weren’t designed to treat. One of these meds was Respirdol. She was on respirdol for most of 2010, but due to rapid weight gain (she went from 75 lbs in April to 120 in November) she was taken off and put on another drug from thesame family that isn’t supposed to cause weight gain.

I decided to visit and check out all the ins and outs of her meds. I mean, this kid’s just not right. It’s not normal to do these things, using suicide to get out of punishment or using it to gain temporary popularity.

What do you think I found?

Yep, that’s right. Both her meds carry severe side effects that include abnormal thoughts and suicidal thoughts/attempts. One of them also carries severe side effects of impulsiveness (which has been out of control in the past few months) and aggression (which is what started this whole thing anyway!).

I knew she didn’t belong in there! I knew it. What if the source of all her problems is an off dosage, or reaction to a medication?!?

I called and demanded her release, and she came home on Thursday. The extra two days she spent in didn’t have an adverse affect, but it all assured me that I am a good mom with maternal instincts. Perhaps I should listen to them more often.

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7 thoughts on “Mother’s Intuition

  1. oh my friend, that mother gut, that thing at the back of your thougths that tells you that it might be , yes we should always listen to that.

    I am glad she is home, I am glad that you are her mom and that she has you to love/protect/and stand up for her.

    I am just awash in tears (what else is new) and grateful for your mommy gut!

  2. How scary to find out about the side effects that way, but I’m so glad you were able to follow your insticts and realize there was more going on in her head.

    This is a really powerful post; thank you for linking it up with JBE.

    • It is really scary. I’m not overly happy about the wait to see her p-doc, but a few weeks is better than a few months.

    • I’m sure he will once we see him. She’s been saying that one of her meds needed an up in dosage, which is the one I am questioning, so we’ll see.

  3. It is scary playing this med merry go ’round and always wondering what is really our kids and what is an affect of one of the meds. I’m glad you found the info you needed. Has the doctor decided on any med changes yet?

    • No. She won’t see him until later this month and her case manager suggested it would be better to keep her on her meds as is then to try to drop one or something, in case one needs to be weaned.

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