Man, have I got a treat for you!! I fell in love with this blogger way back over the summer. She just makes me laugh so loud, my kids look at me like I have finally gone over the edge. If you have not met this week’s Scoop, oh man, you are REALLY missing out.
She’s got the inside scoop on how to be a polite elevator rider. She’s got tips for every bathroom architect out there. She even understands why you might want so WD-40 at the gym. She’s even got a fabulous
hysterical historical post on how the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas” came to be.
I’ve been pimping her out all week in my excitement.
And since it’s Christmas, I am foregoing the traditional interview and just having her guest post. I’m quite confident you will enjoy this as much as I did. So, without further ado, please give a BIG POOPY welcome to Kelley from Kelley’s Break Room….
Who stuffs YOUR stocking??
Before I go any further, let me just say that I love the vibe in this blog, don’t you
? You’d think the wallpaper in here would be various shades of brown, right? I’m loving the pink and purple! That Drama Mama sure can decorate. Speaking of the Drama Mama, she asked me to write a little something something about the loot I’ve received in my Christmas stockings over the years.
Isn’t it horrible that I can hardly remember?? My mother slaved and slaved over those stockings and I couldn’t tell you what was in my last one. I say last one, because my mom still stuffs the stockings…and I’m 35. Granted, I live at home and have a Holly Hobby bedspread, but I still think 35 is too old for Christmas stockings.
(REALLY IMPORTANT SIDENOTE: I do not live at my parents’ house anymore. I live with my two little boys and my husband/their dad in our very own house, for goodness sakes. Also, everything I’ve ever owned Hobby Holly- related is either incredibly dusty and crying in my parents’ attic or is hating life at the bottom of a landfill. Lastly, I ADORE the fact that my mom still stuffs our stockings. It makes me feel like Santa is still real. If you believe in the jolly old man and I’ve just ruined everything, send coal to me at 123 Sesame Street.)
My mom (and mother-in-law) have always stuffed my velvet sock with lots of fun items, such as tapes from NKOTB and The Jets way back when, my favorite candy (Kit Kat!), Bath & Body Works stuff, Burt’s Bees lip balm, etc. I can’t remember them ever giving me anything IN MY STOCKING that I wanted to stick in a water balloon launcher to set sail across the neighborhood, except for maybe some potholders I got once. All I know is I am grateful stockings have progressed past only oranges and nuts to include some lip balm at least. I DO realize that some people today in our country and in others would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to have oranges and nuts in their Christmas stocking but this lady wants some lip balm…and maybe a People magazine, too. Some diamond earrings would also be nice. Could some bubble gum be throw in there, as well?
Even if my mom and mother-in-law stuffed a Taco Bell Grande and some leftover tickets won at Chuck E. Cheese from the Skee-Ball game into my stocking, I’d find some element of joy in knowing SOMEONE’S STUFFIN’ MY STANKIN’ STOCKIN’! I used to crack up at my mother-in-law’s stocking when we’d visit my husband’s parents. Right next to their old snow-flocked tree (that was yellowing with time or as a result of Santa taking a wizz right on the dang thing) was their mantle groaning from the weight of my mother-in-law’s stocking. “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, somebodeh empteh meh!”, he’d yell. My MIL had absolutely crammed all sorts of things she had bought for herself into that stocking. My husband, his brother and dad may have snuck a candy bar or something in it, but the majority of that stocking was straight-up bought from my MIL for my MIL. If she hadn’t, the stocking could probably be seen today begging with a cardboard sign at the corner of a Major Rd. and Major St. due to starvation. Sometimes mother’s have to watch out for themselves. Am I right or am I right?
Who stuffs YOUR stocking??
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE.
Now, what are you waiting for? Go fling some poop on her wall.