Today, I am very, very honored to share my ice cream with one of the funniest bloggers in blogland. She has her own voice that captivates everyone who takes a moment to read her, instantly sealing her badge in your list of favorites. There are so many reasons to love Gigi how can I share them all? Who else would rather have a vacation than buy presents for her sons many friends? Not only will you die of laughter, but you can pick up such useful tips like why blogging is good for you. But the best part of all? She REALLY puts the “Poop” in The Scoop on Poop this week. And? She’s got the PERFECT giveaways, one for a coffeeholic like me, and a great travel companion, just in time for the Holidays. You really should check it out!
So, without further ado, I give you Gigi, aka Kludgy Mom.
Top Ten Things That Make Me Think of Christmas
First, I want to say thanks to The Drama Mama for having me over today, especially at the holiday!
When you say the word “Christmas” to most people, they immediately think of chestnuts roasting over an open fire, sleigh rides and jingle bells.
Well, I’m not going to get all Martha Stewart on you like that. When DM asked me to list the top 10 things that make me think of Christmas, I figured I needed to do it kludgy style, ‘cause that’s how I roll.
So away we go!
The Top 10 Things That Make Me Think of Christmas
1. Pain. The searing pain I feel in my foot from stepping on tiny candy sprinkles my kids have spilled on the floor after cookie decorating. Worse yet? Those little silver, red and green nonpareil balls. Ouch!
2. Panic. The morning panic that sets in when I realize my kids are awake and I have not yet moved the Elf on the Shelf to its new location for the day. I must immediately implement evasive maneuvers.
3. Time. The time I spend vacuuming up pine needles, tinsel, Christmas candy wrappers and wrapping paper shrapnel.
4. Under eye Bags. The kind that are so big, I could carry a large Nutcracker in them. I get them when I stay up all night buying Black Friday specials online.
5. Parties. Parties that have kiddie photo ops with Santa, where I yell, “Would you PLEASE SMILE for one second? Stop choking your sister! Dammit, would you PLEASE tell Santa what you want for Christmas? DON’T say you don’t KNOW! Get your HAND AWAY from your FACE. PRETEND you LIKE each other. Be NICE to Santa, he won’t hurt you.”
6. Postage. Deciding how much money I’ll save on postage by taking all of the nasty people in my neighborhood off my Christmas card list this year.
7. Television. My DVR being so filled with the 25 Day of Christmas programming on ABC family that I miss watching Top Chef, Survivor and – gasp – Real HouseEskimos of the North Pole.
8. Packages. Ordering my children that they are not, under any circumstances, to open any boxes or envelopes that arrive at the house. Or they’ll learn a lot more about Santa than they really want to at this point.
9. Politics. Biting my tongue at my husband’s work Christmas party and not telling his boss that she has no business managing people. After she fails to remember my name. After meeting me twice in the last year.
10. Pleading. Doing my best impression of a beggar as I plead with the parents of my son’s classmates to donate money for the teacher’s Christmas gift. She really does deserve more than a $10 Starbucks card.
11. Bonus! You get an 11th. Posturing. As in standing in front of the mirror, posturing to see how big the fat balls on my thighs are stretching my jeans out due to my 30 day diet of fudge, cookies, hot cocoa and almond butter crunch candy.
So there’s my list – I’m so exhausted from writing all of that. I need to go have a little sweet treat to reward myself. Have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year!
What things make you think of Christmas?
Thanks for guest posting today, Gigi. I’m so pleased to have you here. Don’t forget to run on over to Kludgy Mom
and leave her some comment love, and maybe even win a Tassimo Brewpot T20
or an iGo