>Have you ever wondered why my blog is titled the way it is? I’m sure you have. It is an odd title, that until you actually come by and check it out, makes you kind of squeamish. I’ve been told that some people expect to come to the blog and find pictures of poop..?!?
Um, no. I threw up this morning cleaning the poop off Scooby’s bedroom door and surrounding walls that he decided to paint with, for the first time ever, this morning. Why on earth would I want to share a picture of that? I mean if mushy brown, the color and consistency of a partially cooked brownie, with chunks of orange in it is your thing, you need some help. Serious help. Like confined-to-a-white-walled-cell-while-wearing-a-special-jacket type of help….
Really, the reason why my blog is titled “The Scoop on Poop” is for stories like these, the ones that just make you feel like a.) someone pooped on you; b.) you got bamboozled; or c.) you had to clean up someone else’s poop. I’m running 2 for 3 right now, with expectations of 1 happening at any time. Thus, my blog is called “The Scoop on Poop”. In case you haven’t figured it out by now, it is more figurative than literal, with the exception of days like today thrown in. Here’s an example:
GC has 2 other sons from his previous long term relationship. To make a very long, complicated story short, they have nothing on paper to establish custody, visitation, or child support; they did not get married. What they do have is a verbal agreement GC made with her some 100 years ago, before he had another family in his life to take care of. Let’s just suffice it to say that the amount he is paying her is triple what he should be. Even so, she is never satisfied with what she gets, and has absolutely no problem using the boys as pawns to get more out of him, even when he has nothing more to give.
This angers me.
My very best friend in this world always listens to me complain and vent about this whole situation. Once, after GC had returned from a visit to them and spent $$$ while he was there, they turned around and asked for more, and more , and more. AND MORE, which we didn’t have to give. The husband has a job he never goes to, and she has never worked a day in her life. Now, I’m rather passive aggressive, and since I am forbidden from talking to them myself (and it’s a good thing too, I suppose), I created a vent that I asked my very best friend to help me with since I don’t really read/watch the news.
My vent consisted of a comedic twist on how GC might look like a careful selection of rich men, but he wasn’t. And, I have to admit that I am gullible and was ripe for the bamboozling.
I had asked her for the names of a cigarette tycoon and a gas tycoon specifically, due to the can’t-support-their-smoking-habit and always-running-out-of-gas “needs”, add in 2 tycoons of general nature, and this is how my vent went:
“Get off your lazy asses and get your ass to work and go get a job! His name is not Phillip Morris, Boone Pickens (BP tycoon/gas guru), Bill Gates or Donald Trump. This isn’t Burger King and you don’t get things your way. Have some pride and stop expecting other people to take care of you.”
BAMBOOZLED! She certainly did. She convinced me that Boone Pickens was the head of the whole BP fiasco and his name was all over the news….
Now, who exactly is Boone Pickens, you ask? If you aren’t familiar with Oklahoma (which is where my very best friend lives) then you may not know. This is Boone Pickens:
I know. I know. She bamboozled me but good.
Now, in my defense, if you google “Boone Pickens” you would come up on T. Boone Pickens, legendary Texas oil and gas executive, and creator of the Pickens Plan to stop the American addiction for foreign oil. *This* could have been who she really meant, but she admitted to me just yesterday after almost a MONTH has gone by, that she knew she was doing wrong. so therefore, it is not who she meant at all.
Hmmph. Shyla, you really are my VBF (very bitch friend, HA!) and I love you very much. 😉
Oh, and paybacks are a bitch. 😉