>Hi!! See me waving from the beach? Wish you were here. *insert cheesy hotel commercial music here* We aren’t staying long (I’m ready to go home NOW. Just TOO hot!) but we are having loads of fun. Well…at least the kids are. If I weren’t such a premenopausal crankpot, perhaps I would be having more fun too.
What is it about getting older that makes you lose interest in the things that you loved as a younger adult? Things like:
1. Going down the waterslides built for kids
2. Falling down on the shore only to be swept up by the waves (No, this did not happen to me, but Scooby Doo seemed to be having a grand old time doing it.)
3. Splashing merrily in the pool, regardless of salt content (why do so many women just sit on the side reading a book these days? Old crankpots)
There are plenty of fun things to do that don’t involve looking silly, even when you are cranky. Things like:
1. Watch your husband get silly with the kids in the water hoping no one else will notice the crack that is blatantly rebelling against the waist band of his swim trunks.
2. Snoozing in the umbrella covered beach chair you paid a fortune to rent while your children
drown roll in the riptide waves of the ocean caused by Hurricane Danielle.
3. Roasting in the hot sun while teaching your 2 yr old son how to make a sand castle, while getting sand in your pants, only to watch him grab the bucket, shovel and rake, and go destroy the sand castle someone else is building.
4. Stuffing your face at the biggest seafood buffet restaurant on the East Coast, then tossing your cookies when you get the bill.
5. Hoping that the fin you see sticking out of the water from your hotel room balcony is not a shark getting ready to eat the clueless surfer sitting casually on his surfboard waiting for a wave. *cue the JAWS theme music here*
6. Teaching your shark obsessed 10 yr old that she will hear the music before she sees the shark.
7. Pushing your kids into the water.
8. Forcing your 2 yo to go down the waterslide.
9. Relaxing in the jacuzzi while your eyes burn from the chlorine content in said hot tub (that’s a lot of chlorine!)
and, last but not least…
10. Consoling your overtired, non napping 2 yo who really wants to ride the choo choo train and can’t because they shut the ride down way too early.
We are having a blast!!
—THE DRAMA MAMA