This is my first time participating in this meme. I try to keep my blog posts light-hearted and fun, but every once in awhile, life gets in the way. So, today I am pouring my heart out (and thanks to Shell for hosting this)….
I am scared. I am scared to start a friendship back up, open my heart (and my kids hearts) only to have you trample them down again. I am scared to completely ignore your multiple requests to be added to my messenger list because you might hurt me.
This does not give you the right to harass me by sending me an IM every other day, trying to be nice. I can forgive you fine, but I do not have to open my heart and let you burn us for the 3rd time. You had 2 chances. That’s one more chance then you should have had after dumping my daughter and I onto the street, breeching the trust I gave you by offering you a room in our home.
And your little tirade about my wanting my wedding pictures to be balanced, therefore I asked someone other then you because you are oh “so much smaller” than I am? Yeah that.
Well, I am still working on forgiveness a year later, because that was just wrong on so many levels. Maybe if you were more compliant with my wishes and choices and things I wanted for my wedding instead of trying to make it your own, I would have been more interested.
Maybe if you didn’t ignore my updates on how it was coming along, you would have seen that I did ask you. Maybe if you hadn’t told my 15 mo old son, who was tired and hungry after a 4 hour wedding dress trying on ordeal, to stop crying or you would give him a reason to cry, you would have been a part of my special day.
Maybe if you had stopped bitching over how many times I changed my colors (because it was my wedding after all), I would have thought you really wanted to be a part of it.
I give you excuses because you have a disease (or three or four, I can’t keep up anymore) that makes you act like the bitch you have been. But, you have worn out your welcome and I am beyond done. I feel sorry for you. I honestly do. Maybe when you’ve learned the real meaning of friendship, that it is a two-way street, people would be more willing to invite you back into their lives.
This involves learning when to shut your mouth and listen to other people’s stories sometimes. This means that even if you’ve “been through it before” you shut up and wait for the other person to finish pouring their heart out. This means that you don’t unload all your
secondhand treasures junk on your best friend even though you know it’s not her taste or style. Your best friend has enough junk of her own. Trust me on that.