Welcome one and all to THE EVENT of the year.
That’s right. Today is your one and only opportunity to UPGRADE YOUR SPOUSE to a better model.
Thanks to a new super secret compound, Dramatics Incorporated is pleased to offer each and every one of you an upgrade in your spouse.
Do you find yourself exhausted at the end of the day, your hair sticking out all around you, your energy fried and your nerves frazzled because you’ve:
- took the trash out
- mowed the lawn
- put a dent in the never ending laundry
- wrote a best selling novel
- written, produced, directed and starred in a movie
- fixed the broken garbage disposal, doorbell, and screen window
- replaced the chain on the kids bicycle
- cooked and cleaned the children
- put the children to bed
- clean some more
And all while your spouse:
- worked outside the home (the lucky bastard)
- got stuck in non-existent traffic, conveniently late for dinner
- plants his heiney on the couch to watch currently recording NCIS
- rolls his eyes at you when you ask him to help
- stuffs his empty soiled bag from a fast food restaurant BEHIND the overflowing trash can
- gives goodnight kisses all around
- lays on the bed watching tv for 3 hours
Sound familiar? Then you are IN LUCK!!!!
For the next 24 HOURS you can trade your mate in no questions asked and he will be reprogrammed and updated to the new modernized version.
We promise that your spouse will be a new man when we are finished with him.
If he does not:
- do his own laundry
- take out the trash
- maintain the yard
- fix things around the house
- flush the toilet
- put the seat down
- clean behind himself (especially when shaving)
- pick up his underwear from the bathroom floor
- participate in the rearing of his children
- wash dishes (including the pots and pans)
- help you clean after they go to bed
(Massages and foot rubs are a separate upgrade also available)
We are offering you a money back guarantee. If he does not perform to your satisfaction, you can trade him in and we will replace him for FREE with a newer model.
What are you waiting for?
Our operators are standing by RIGHT NOW to take your order. You don’t want to miss this exciting once in a lifetime, available only in 2012, opportunity.
Just call 1-866-UPGRADE now and your new upgraded spouse will be on its way.
But hurry before they run out!!
(the images contained in this post are not mine. Click the image for more information.)